Inevitably
it's 6:00 am and I am wide awake but have a pillow and quilt so couldn't ask
for anything more.
After an eventful flight with many stories and anecdotes that I am sure you
don't want to hear?...ok, well firstly our plane got hit by lightning. Sure,
this wasn't confirmed by the pilot but my intuitiveness has come to that
conclusion and it is now fact.
Secondly both myself and many other passengers thought we'd seen our first
suicide. Next to me (fortunately the aisle broke any physical contact) was an
elderly Romanian gentleman. Half way through the flight, or a better point of
reference is I'd just started Horrible Bosses- my third film. I turn to my
right and see a small, see through plastic bag over this guys head and his face
rested on the chair in front. Flight staff were running towards him, shocked
and shouting with blind panic 'sir!' and 'are you alright'? I turned and
instantly thought 'upgrade!= Bed.
Champagne' all at once. Actually I was genuinely worried and thought this guy
had just topped himself somewhere over Canada.
In his broken English Romanian he looked up like a child who wouldn't
eat his dinner and said 'head. Cold'. I don't know what he saw when we got on
the plane, but I saw air stewards handing out blankets not bin liners.
Inevitably I had trouble at customs. In the queue I controlled my breathing,
practiced the typical script, wiped my sweaty palms and smiled but not too
much. Then EVERYTHING changed- I saw an official holding my business cards!!
Why had she got them? Had she gone through my bag? Surely she didn't want to
hire me as an actor?
As my heart went into overdrive, words seemed to dribble out my mouth and my
hands lost all excess weight though sweat I thought:
'they think I am here to work illegally'. I got through round one, then to the
carousel. I knew they'd be watching me pick up my bag, (considered leaving it).
But I elegantly picked it up and gracefully walked over to the women and said
'sorry... Did I see you with some of my cards'? 'oh sir, you're Ethan Evans?'
she replied still uneasy to read, was I under arrest? Had I already been shot?
well Ethan is my stage name...stop talking mark! 'Yeah they're mine'. she
cracked a smile and responded with 'oh, we've been picking them up all over the
place. They must have fallen out of your bag, Mikal got most of them'.
I didn't trust a word that came out of her mouth. I knew the game, lure me into
a false sense of security and them bam! Two life sentences. I smiled with venom
and walked away. Apparently she was just a nice lady! Who'd have known, I'd got
through!
Then I saw Tristam. The friend I was staying with, the body of a Greek god, and
hair as blonde as a sun kissed Californian surfer. And on reflection I thought
this bromance blossomed years ago. We went to Drama school together and been
friends since. He has been good enough
to lend a floor for a while as I find my footing. He handed me a chilled beer
and we drove home questioning 'is it illegal to have an open beer in the front
seat?'
His flat is lovely, and by the time we got there he'd cooked dinner...to which
I politely declined. It was now 5:30am for me and chicken thighs with sweet
potato mash just didn't inspire my stomach. Bed called, and I went to bed
thinking two things. You NEED a car here in LA, and I'll be wide awake in a few
hours!
Oh. And I forgot my toothbrush!
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