Day 29. So Close To The Finale. Leaving LAX

The last day of any trip is the same. Wasting time to get to the airport. Well my flight wasn’t until 21:30 so I had a while to wait. I made a lame attempt to pack and then said ‘I’ll leave that for later’. We went into town and after transferring some more money over I felt like a king. ‘To Abercrombie’! What? Everything is cheaper over here! Now that is justified, ‘To Superdry’! I picked up a few bits and then we headed down to the beach. It was a very hot day and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. I looked out to the sea, taking in everything I had achieved, enjoyed and indulged in over the last month.  Just to reflect on the list I created on my way out here;

To have three meetings with agents/managers- well I had two, so fair enough not fully achieved.

To catch up with a director friend I know over there. Yup, I did this. And also caught up with an old lecturer.

To distribute 100 CV’s- Well I smashed this target and posted 20 CV’s and e-mailed around 250 out to different Managers, agents and casting directors. Of which I have built up quite a database of contacts.

To keep a blog up to date. Here it is in all its glory. Hopefully keeping everyone reading it as entertained as it has made me to write it.

To go to a gun range. Dear God did we do this! A hand gun and an assault riffle any self respecting hardnosed Russian would envy.

To see the Hollywood sign. Those photos with what looks like a whiter version of Arnold Swazanegger blocking out the sign. Yep, that’s me.

Plus so much more. Both industry related and touristy. Going to the gym so much and coming away the best shape and fitness I have ever been in. As well as getting a nice tan. I really feel that although more could have happened professionally I can’t be blamed or feel bad for the outcome. I have truly enjoyed my adventure and can’t thank Tristam enough for having me and putting up with me while pretending to like it. So as we said goodbye and I wiped a tear from his cheek. I was on my way. He must have won the lottery as he drove away because he was cheering like anything,

As I walked up the stairs and into the queue for the scanners I recognised someone. I couldn’t quite place her, but our eyes met and I smiled, she returned the smile and just as I was about to say ‘Hi, how are you’ and work out later on into the conversation exactly how I knew her and who she was. I now knew I recognised her from TV. She was the lady from ‘Extras’ with Ricky Gervais. How awkward that would have been if I arrogantly said ‘I am sure I know you, but where from’? The scanners they have In LAX are the first in the world of their kind. They don’t do a full x-ray, but show you in all your light and glory. These machines see through any material, so the person behind the screen sees you completely naked! You can opt out if you want and you get frisked down, but the queue was longer. So I went for the naked machine. Nearly made the ‘Is it cold in here or is just me’? But feel joking in or anywhere near an airport is an arrest able offence abroad.

Like Heathrow you expect Los Angeles main airport to be the same. Well it isn’t, at all! There is a delicatessen, a man with a trolley shop and a bar. I couldn’t believe it, Tris talked me into getting here three hours before my flight and now I have nothing to do. I nursed a beer at the bar and enjoyed the waitress ID’ing everyone. As a veteran propped at the bar with a walking stick in hand, ordered a beer and got ‘Can I see your ID’? I found it intriguing.

The plane was late leaving as the President decided to drop in and apparently his line was non-existent. Cheers Obama! As I sat back and smiled at the distance LA lights, it was again a marathon of films to commence. What’s this? The screen keeps freezing! Of course it is, I wouldn’t expect anything else. ‘Miss, not being funny, but I can’t last 10hrs with nothing to do’. I wanted to finish it with, turn back and get me on Air Force One. It was the classic ‘I’ll reset the system’. Which basically means, ‘I’ll turn it off and on again’. That hasn’t worked on anything electrical for the last 60 years! Sure in 1959 page one of the TV handbook probably said ‘Turn off plug, and turn back on again’. Well what do you know it didn’t work. ‘This is your captain speaking, we realise a lot of people are having problems with their TV’s. We will be switching the whole planes systems off for an hour’. As annoyed as I was I took a sickening pleasure in ‘If I can’t enjoy my movies then no one can’. And while we’re at it, why do planes allow the person in front to put their chair back! If we crash I can’t even scratch my nose, never mind pulling an oxygen mask down over my face!

This trip sure has given me a new found inspiration and drive to do what I love. Acting is my passion and this hasn’t stopped me, only determined me to chase down my dreams even more and to come alive back in the UK. 

Lesson Learnt, amongst Many: If you want to do something, DO IT. I'll only remain a regret later on in life, and that is worse than failure. 

Day 28. Bowling. Hollywood and a Tear?...NO!

Yup. We did exactly what you’re thinking we did first thing this morning. I only had just over a day left, and as promised today we were going to the Hollywood sign! First of all Tris had an audition, so we left the house and about ten minutes later the car started to judder. It felt like we were on hydraulics and to most gangster’s who pay a lot of money for their cars to do that, we just  gained a lot of respect. But the car had run out of petrol. Even though we’d said to each other a few times ‘oh, we need to get petrol’. The petrol gauge has broken so we do have a slight excuse. Fortunately a couple were passing at the time and lent Tris their push bike. A bit of a gamble on their behalf as I don’t know which is worth more. The pushbike or the car? I pulled the roof back and enjoyed the sun. Tris returned sweaty and flustered. Minus the drink I’d asked him for, but I was in a forgiving mood. A gallon later and we were back on our way. Tris went on into his casting and I caught some sun, never mind that it was basically parked on the M25, I soaked up the Vitamin D.

 Once he came out, we then made our way over to the Hollywood sign. You can see the sign from most places over the city, and it sounds obvious but the closer you get the bigger it becomes. And as you drive up this uninspiring residential road, the Hollywood sign becomes more prominent and adds a truly magical feeling to the area. We parked on a dusty road where most cars were. Then decided we needed a wee, where better than the outback? While I had one eye on the sign and the other keeping watch for Rattlesnakes I knew this little adventure was going to be a highlight. Like tourists and a guy who has only had his top off twice this trip, I took it off and tucked it into my shorts. The path up, was windy and tough. I’d also worn flip flops. We went a bit off track and did some climbing, miles in the middle of nowhere, where better to break a leg?! It was about 6pm and the sun was starting to cool and settle. Before you knew it, you have got a prime spot in front of the sign overlooking the whole of LA. We did the classic arguing of where Santa Monica, Venice and Hollywood Boulevard where, all the places we had visited. It seemed perfectly fitting that on my last complete day, I’d climbed to the top of Hollywood. And would like to draw a comparison to conquering it, say something wise to sum up my time here...but I couldn’t think of anything.

We had decided to meet Felicity and Misha and go bowling. Tris had been boasting about how good he was. Not in an Olympic humble way either. I find bowling like Golf- one of the most frustrating games going. I kept quiet and listened to his double Turkey stories.  It would be amazing if I could now say I beat him like a dog, but I didn’t. I didn’t beat Mishca either. I had a couple of good bowls and some others where I wanted to walk down the lane and kick those cocky little red headed pins over! But it was nice last night, and we went for food. I have only met these guys three times over the course of a month, but felt quite sad when we said goodbye and hope to see them again at some point. Although things have seemed to be over very quickly, I also feel I have made some great bonds with people I have met. And I couldn’t have done any better than I had done.

Lesson Learnt: Where is the 'good' in 'goodbye'? I have met and shall meet many people in my life, but I have complete control of seeing them again. Maybe I should see those guys again.

Day 27. Script Reading and Gas Filling

Woke up and did something beginning with G and ending in M. Y won’t I write it any longer? Because I think it is my most used word. The second as I am told is ‘’Coffee’’. Yup, we did that too. I emailed my 20 agencies one last time, but included a line at the end saying ‘If you aren’t currently taking people on, please reply letting me know’. Sub-text being. ‘Listen up you lazy gits! REPLY to my emails. I spent time and money on pursuing this and your lazy asses can’t even be bothered’.

 

After coffee we visited Venice Beach for what I assume to be my last time. I wanted a Muscle Beach t-shirt. I’ve have always found myself getting annoyed at people who wear the most dreadful t-shirts stating where they’d been on holiday. But I wanted a Muscle Beach t-shirt one from Muscle Beach. It’s my mind, I can change it if I want. As we left and looked towards the sun set we took in the beach, the temperature and skaters in the distance. The palm trees gently swaying in the breeze shading the sun out just slightly to create a postcard picture. Serenity. Paradise. ‘I am going to miss this place’. 

Then the sirens from the Police blurted and they screech to a stop. A tramp got arrested and the constant smell of Weed got stronger. ‘Let’s go’. We nodded in agreement.  

We were going to a writers/actors event tonight that we found through another networking company on Facebook. Writers take their scripts there and actors read them out in front of a live audience of around sixty. It’s an opportunity for writers to see how their work sounds and for actors to read scripts aloud. It sounded like fun but I thought two things before we went. It will be full of English actors and I pictured it like in movies when you see desperate Eastern Europeans waiting outside a dockyard or factory for work. I could just picture actors brimming outside this pub prostituting themselves to writers in hope we’d have one line.

We turned up and it was in a British pub, so far I was winning $5 for the bet I put on with myself. As we went upstairs there was a lot of hustle and bustle, scripts being thrown around the place and people rushing back and forth making deals with actors. Seemed like I was in the office for the Daily Mail. We introduced ourselves to the guy who runs it, it’s completely non-profit too. We paid $2 for the hire of a room above a pub. It was supposed to be $3 each. But as the pot was passed round I realised I only had two. So did the classic shake and drop. My $2 was now mixed in with the others, quick ‘neck ache’ turn to my left, turn to my right. No, no one saw. A women came over to us and said ‘here is my script, now you are going to astrophysicist number one’ looking at Tris and then ‘you’re going to be Astrophysicist number two’. She was scraping the barrel but I’d take it. Sure it was no leading part but it was my first night. ‘Actually’ she sighed. ‘I’ll just roll them into one character, and I’ll pick...’the finger slowly came up...and she pointed at Tris. I’d just been employed and fired in the same breath. For a writer her intuitiveness on how to crush a guys feelings wasn’t as tuned in as I’d hoped. She walked away and I hoped her script was terrible, as well as her tipping over on stage. .

Then another writer came up. ‘I’d like you to be Stage Directions and the man at the checkout’! In a film the Stage Direction obviously aren’t said, but on the script it’s the biggest part...in a non part way. I read it over once and realised I opened, ended and created the scenes throughout. As well having a cameo with five lines as ‘Checkout Man’. I felt so big and bolshie that I was going to do the Checkout Guy in an American accent and over enunciate my British’ness for the Stage Directions. As it happened we were the only British people there.

I have done a lot of script readings over the years. Mostly at University, where we’d write scripts and then read each others. I was on one particular occasion horrible to a friend who was quite nervous about reading in public, and just before he went I leant over and said ‘You’re going to mess this up’. It put him right off and I think that was coming back to bite me. I as slightly nervous. But knew I could read so didn’t want to go over it too many times. It was a very clique group, but we were determined to break in and make a regular appearance (if I wasn’t leaving in two days). Tris was second and did us proud, putting character and emphasis behind it. I was third. I took my beer on stage, forget needing liquid to clear my throat, I felt more like Noel Gallagher. Relaxed and confident. A tradition that we had caught onto is: you introduce yourself and who you are reading for. The person reading the Stage Directions gets the biggest, loudest uproar of a cheer. ‘Do your country proud!’ and ‘No pressure’ were amongst some of the lines screamed out. It genuinely lasts thirty seconds. For someone who’d usually role their eyes at such behaviour I lapped it up. Relishing in my glory. I was in Hollywood and these people loved me...Ok, they did it for everyone but it felt pretty unique. You’d be very surprised at the poor projection of some. Many of the lines weren’t heard due to mumbling. But generally the acting and writing was of quite high calibre. The night started with people saying watch so and so tomorrow ‘I wrote it’. A new drama starting had been written by one of these guys and one of the main actors in it was also here tonight. So although the writers don’t usually have power over casting there must have been some back hander’s going on somewhere.

I read very well, (if I do say so myself). I did the American accent and character convincingly and got the actors voice out of the bag for the Stage Directions. As bored as friends and family are with this voice, it went down a storm over here. It was very enjoyable, the writers were happy with what we’d done and we managed to speak to a lot of people. I only wish we’d done it more, but we’ve always been busy on a Tuesday night. 

Lesson Learnt: If you're nervous about doing something, hit it with 100% commitment. No one will ever know.

Day 26. Johnny Depp and Police Academy.

So today was a big meeting and a list ticker. The meeting was near Hollywood, so as you can guess, the stars of America called...and then Hollywood.

The meeting was at three. So I did the normal routine in the morning and then prepped. Looked at their client list, background etc. The types of things I’d never be asked but makes things seem more real and professional. Tris drove me to the door and I was ten minutes early, which is the ideal time for a meeting and fifteen minutes for an audition. The lady on the front desk was very nice and welcomed me, she offered some tea. I declined. ‘I don’t suppose tea here is like what you get back home’? We debated and shared tips for a good ten minutes on tea. Typhoo and PG is where we got up to when I was called in. Maria was her name, and she was very nice. Unlike last time there was no fake casting. We had a chat about all sorts. Not just industry related things but anything, which I think is a good sign. Or she is just looking for friends? She had watched my Demo (showreel) which I was really impressed with and she admitted to not understanding every word but was impressed none the less. I pointed out that it was a good thing, as I do mime. If she couldn’t understand me and yet enjoyed it. We laughed and the ice was broken. We discussed visas, and she agreed that they are expensive and understood my efforts in making an educated decision before moving out here. But it still remained that I couldn’t work. We left it with ‘stay in contact’. Which only time will tell if it was a good thing.

We left and drove to Hollywood. Unlike Leicester Square or Piccadilly Circus, driving through isn’t like navigating around Hampton Courts maze. We drove past the Chinese theatre and huge cinemas with all the stars on the road. Then looked to our left and there was queue of people against fences waiting for something. As we pretended to wave like royalty and joke how this happens far too often we realised there was a big movie premier of Dark Shadows with Johnny Depp. So the roads were closed and there was mayhem. Didn’t Johnny know I was visiting?! Damn you Johnny. There were people dressed up as all sorts of characters. And the placed is filled with excitement. 

We looked at the Chinese Theatre and I had my photo taken in front of the stars. Charlie Sheen, Morgan Freeman and Chuck Norris. It’s all quite a spectacle, the tall and characteristics buildings over shadow any of those back home. But once you’ve done the above, you have literally done Hollywood. 

We ate dinner in awe of the distant Hollywood sign hoping we’d be climbing it sometime this week.

We had another screening to watch only this time it was at the LA Film School, which we found though a podcast a guy does. He lets inspiring actors, directors, writers know of things like this and invites them. Tris asked me if I wanted to go last week. ‘What’s the name of the film?’ Genuinely interested ‘God Bless Amer...’’NO, NO, NO!’. I interrupted’. And made no apology for it.  We agreed to watch the trailer. The title was ironic and actually seemed pretty funny. We signed up, and I recognised a few people from the previous screening of ‘Pirates’. So it’s a small community in actual fact. The film was good and criticised what the director perceived to be the mass population of Americans. Basically a guy was dying, and anyone who annoyed him he’d shoot. With a bit more complexity and through line than that. The best bit was as the credits rolled, some of the audience started ‘Whooping’ these where the exact types of people the protagonist happily shot down. The director and writer were now going to give a talk about how he came up with the idea, and the fundamentals of directing. I had many questions. The director was introduced ‘Here is Bobcat Goldthwait...’ Now this maybe just be a name to some, but this was Zed from Police Academy! The one who shouts and acts erratically. I was in awe, he is also a stand up comedian, so his whole talk was very funny and interesting. Despite his 80’s success his films are made on a micro budget and a lot of the time the finances are put up by himself.

Lesson Leanrt: Don't judge a book by its cover. Give it a chance, at least then you can slate it.