Day 16. Suprises. The Good The Bad The Ugly

Jumped out of bed today. Well, twice in fact. As I am staying in the land lady’s bed with her thinking I am sleeping on Tris’s floor. (Don’t worry the landlady isn’t in the bed as well). She has another house and stays there...sometimes. So anytime I hear a noise I am up like a shot, think she’s about to find me in her marital bed in my pants and snoring away. 

The second time I jumped out of bed it was the morning, and today we were off to Universal Studios!...errm, research? (That small word means I can claim back the tax). We went with Tris’s parents and they picked us up. In the car it didn’t take me long to boast about how many times I’d visited Florida’s theme parks. (6 for those counting). So as my pedestal was set high we pulled into the parking lot. We parked in ‘Cartoon George’ I know, I’ve never heard of him and straight away. Florida 1-0 LA. As ever it was laid out amazingly and as it’s set in the hills the view all around is amazing. Apart from the grey clouds coming in and as the Americans put their plastic sheets over themselves I took a layer off and stayed loudly British. Upon entry not only do you walk through metal detectors and then have someone frisk you (someone official) but you now have to do a finger print ID. Reminded me of an earlier encounter, only this time there were no security guards walking around with my business cards. I felt like using the immortal ‘don’t worry mate you don’t need my finger prints, I’ve been to the original Universal six times. They know me’. Ok, last time I boast about that. We were in and I opened the map and...what?! ‘Limited times on all rides’. Strange as I missed the sign when I handed over my card ‘limited payment required’. Most if not all the rides are now in 3D- Terminator, Shrek, The Simpsons, part of the Mummy and Transformers. 

Those of you that have been to Florida will now 

notice that apart from Transformers every ride is exactly the same. Was this theme park not built to show off the monopoly Universal held over the filming industry? So why on earth are these parks identical? Mr Universal could only think of a handful of rides to express their great influence over films? Seemed like a cop out to me. Sure, the rides are all set out with great detail and nothing like the theme parks back home. We were lucky to ride Transformers as it doesn’t officially open until mid May. ‘Lucky?’ they’re lucky that I got to ride it.  All moaning aside I did absolutely love it. And we did the studio tour that was brilliant. They took us around all the sets and studios. We saw lots of mock up places and the entire housing estate of Desperate Housewives. (Insert high pitched shriek from the girls here). Most of the buildings you see in films are only about three foot deep.

I won’t fulfil any ignorant stereotypes of an entire Asian community by suggesting they enjoy photographs as I’ve noticed a new trend they seem to be following. If there is a group of four or more, one will hold a long stick with a small piece of memorabilia on the end. A panda, Mickey’s ears or a piece of ribbon ect. This is so they don’t get separated. Are they themselves suggesting that they look too similar to each other? Why not use the old fashioned way of names? I was bemused by such practices, and in a trance like was nearly following their ping pong ball on a stick. Then Tris called my name- so both practices worked.

After the soaking we got on Jurassic Park and getting a beer the bat phone rang! I looked at Tris, it couldn’t have been him calling- he was there! This was an agent. ‘Hello’? Wrong number. Only joking. In between the Jaws tune blaring out an agent wanted a meeting with me tomorrow! I patted myself on the back and realised I’d just bought a Bud Light. The bad has got to come with the good.

Last ride was a walk through. The haunted house walk through. As if the scenery, lack of lightening and music wasn’t enough a kid wielding a chainsaw or knife in a scary mask had to add to it! Groups of about twenty go through at a time. And just like last time I did one of these I was for one leading. I built myself up, I could lead my group into battle. A few WWHOOO RAAASSS later I yelled ‘follow me troops’! I no longer had any finger nails and a gorilla’s finger hanging between my cheeks. And inevitably I was the guinea pig for most of the scares. Every corner a teenager would jump out; I’d scream and then nervously laugh it off. Hoping that this wasn’t the teenager who’d finally had enough and actually wanted to run a knife into me. Like any good general I put Tris up front for a bit. (Collateral).

Then we left. Superb day and the best thing about these places are the shows. Stunts, gun shots and explosions all bring back memories of Nam...oh wait, I wasn’t a General anymore! Checked the bat phone and two messages ‘Hi Ethan, I am the intern here. Kathy really liked your photos and is looking forward to meeting with you tomorrow. Here’s the address...’ Brilliant! As all I could hear was Peter Jackson going on about some King Kong film he made when I was being told the address. Good day. Both touristy and productive.

Lesson Learnt: Sometimes you have just got to sit back. It’s at the times you least expect things to work out.