Woke up and did something beginning with G and ending in M. Y won’t I
write it any longer? Because I think it is my most used word. The second as I
am told is ‘’Coffee’’. Yup, we did that too. I emailed my 20 agencies one last
time, but included a line at the end saying
‘If you aren’t currently taking people on, please reply letting me know’.
Sub-text being. ‘Listen up you lazy gits!
REPLY to my emails. I spent time and money on pursuing this and your lazy asses
can’t even be bothered’.
After coffee we visited Venice Beach for what I assume to be my last
time. I wanted a Muscle Beach t-shirt. I’ve have always found myself getting
annoyed at people who wear the most dreadful t-shirts stating where they’d been
on holiday. But I wanted a Muscle Beach t-shirt one from Muscle Beach. It’s my
mind, I can change it if I want. As we left and looked towards the sun set we
took in the beach, the temperature and skaters in the distance. The palm trees
gently swaying in the breeze shading the sun out just slightly to create a postcard
picture. Serenity. Paradise. ‘I am going
to miss this place’.
Then the sirens from the Police blurted and they
screech to a stop. A tramp got arrested and the constant smell of Weed got
stronger. ‘Let’s go’. We nodded in agreement.
We were going to a writers/actors event tonight that we found through
another networking company on Facebook. Writers take their scripts there and
actors read them out in front of a live audience of around sixty. It’s an opportunity
for writers to see how their work sounds and for actors to read scripts aloud. It
sounded like fun but I thought two things before we went. It will be full of
English actors and I pictured it like in movies when you see desperate Eastern
Europeans waiting outside a dockyard or factory for work. I could just picture
actors brimming outside this pub prostituting themselves to writers in hope we’d
have one line.
We turned up and it was in a British pub, so far I was winning $5 for
the bet I put on with myself. As we went upstairs there was a lot of hustle and
bustle, scripts being thrown around the place and people rushing back and forth
making deals with actors. Seemed like I was in the office for the Daily Mail. We
introduced ourselves to the guy who runs it, it’s completely non-profit too. We
paid $2 for the hire of a room above a pub. It was supposed to be $3 each. But as
the pot was passed round I realised I only had two. So did the classic shake
and drop. My $2 was now mixed in with the others, quick ‘neck ache’ turn to my left, turn to my right. No, no one saw. A women
came over to us and said ‘here is my
script, now you are going to astrophysicist number one’ looking at Tris and
then ‘you’re going to be Astrophysicist
number two’. She was scraping the barrel but I’d take it. Sure it was no
leading part but it was my first night. ‘Actually’
she sighed. ‘I’ll just roll them into one
character, and I’ll pick...’the finger slowly came up...and she pointed at
Tris. I’d just been employed and fired in the same breath. For a writer her
intuitiveness on how to crush a guys feelings wasn’t as tuned in as I’d hoped. She
walked away and I hoped her script was terrible, as well as her tipping over on
stage. .
Then another writer came up. ‘I’d
like you to be Stage Directions and the man at the checkout’! In a film the
Stage Direction obviously aren’t said, but on the script it’s the biggest
part...in a non part way. I read it over once and realised I opened, ended and
created the scenes throughout. As well having a cameo with five lines as ‘Checkout
Man’. I felt so big and bolshie that I was going to do the Checkout Guy in an
American accent and over enunciate my British’ness for the Stage Directions. As
it happened we were the only British people there.
I have done a lot of script readings over the years. Mostly at
University, where we’d write scripts and then read each others. I was on one particular
occasion horrible to a friend who was quite nervous about reading in public,
and just before he went I leant over and said ‘You’re going to mess this up’. It put him right off and I think
that was coming back to bite me. I as slightly nervous. But knew I could read so
didn’t want to go over it too many times. It was a very clique group, but we
were determined to break in and make a regular appearance (if I wasn’t leaving
in two days). Tris was second and did us proud, putting character and emphasis behind
it. I was third. I took my beer on stage, forget needing liquid to clear my
throat, I felt more like Noel Gallagher. Relaxed and confident. A tradition
that we had caught onto is: you introduce yourself and who you are reading for.
The person reading the Stage Directions gets the biggest, loudest uproar of a
cheer. ‘Do your country proud!’ and ‘No pressure’ were amongst some of the
lines screamed out. It genuinely lasts thirty seconds. For someone who’d usually
role their eyes at such behaviour I lapped it up. Relishing in my glory. I was
in Hollywood and these people loved me...Ok, they did it for everyone but it
felt pretty unique. You’d be very surprised at the poor projection of some. Many
of the lines weren’t heard due to mumbling. But generally the acting and
writing was of quite high calibre. The night started with people saying watch
so and so tomorrow ‘I wrote it’. A
new drama starting had been written by one of these guys and one of the main
actors in it was also here tonight. So although the writers don’t usually have
power over casting there must have been some back hander’s going on somewhere.
I read very well, (if I do say so myself). I did the American accent
and character convincingly and got the actors voice out of the bag for the
Stage Directions. As bored as friends and family are with this voice, it went
down a storm over here. It was very enjoyable, the writers were happy with what
we’d done and we managed to speak to a lot of people. I only wish we’d done it
more, but we’ve always been busy on a Tuesday night.
Lesson Learnt: If you're nervous about doing something, hit it with 100% commitment. No one will ever know.
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